The column that says some days you eat the bear and some days the Falcons eat you.
By Jack Hummel
Radio: 92.1 FM WVLT Saturdays noon to 2 p.m.
U.S. Army: RA13815980
Google all columns at jackhummelblog
How many calories in a Girl Scout cookie?
How many grams of fat?
Man 55 pounds down needs to know, which is not even close to the 80 pounds drilled off by Sam Feinstein or the 77 pounds Jorje Romero will run off and dine off on Paleo, which we didn’t know has the accent on on the Pal.
As in romeo.
We need to hear from the people who finished losing all their weight last year to see if they’ve put any of it back on.
This is the problem with all dieters. The dieting is a marathon we can’t wait to finish so we can eat again.
Two Big Macs and large fries equals 1,440 calories, and who can’t wait to do that again. When they rush us to the hospital, please don’t say, poor Jack, why did God do this to him.
Jack did it to himself, was told he was doing it to himself, knew he was doing it to himself, and still did it.
And we helped the medical profession by not busting three lap-bands.
Oh, when can we eat a DiLisi’s personal pan pizza again?
When can we eat a bowl of Breyer’s butter pecan ice cream?
When can we eat half of a black walnut cake brought to us by Mel and Maryanne Glick of the Amish Market by way of Shady Maple?
When can we woof down three glazed donuts from Dunkin’?
As soon as we get there because the desire will never fade, just like it hasn’t for those who spend $4 billion a year on weight-losing products.
Why would you be stupid enough to buy a disk you twist on? Because nothing else has worked for you.
If you’re on your way up, enjoy the ride.
If you’re on your way down, persevere.
Apparently going on behind the scenes …
“With a response given recently by Diana Leuallen, cruelty investigator with CCSPCA, that disputes the facts of an interview between her, her partner and Jack Hummel that was published in a newspaper for all to read, I feel relatively sure that these words as written by me will be seen by her, as I want her to clearly understand what I’m saying and that it’s me saying them.
“How dare you bring your narcissistic ass on my page and accuse me of bashing you for all the stupid things you told an interviewer and allowed to be published.
“Not one word of my comments to your sorry approach to grandstanding was bashing.
“I apologize if I used words with too many syllables for you to comprehend (sorry, there I go again), but my reply to your post twice invited you to clearly come forward with your real feelings on TNVR, if what was written was a lie.
“Was Jack Hummel lying in his published interview as you indicate by responding to my overview, or are you lying in your response to my posting ‘Deceptive Measures’ on my page.
“Clearly, one of you are, and in the defensive way you attempt to cut off any response to your nonsense ‘no need to reply folks’ comment and accusations that I’m bashing you, you’ve answered that question.
“There is much for you to be bashed about and if you like, I will give you a sample of my bashing so you’ll know the difference in the future.”
— Ric Kuhns
So that’s why we haven’t been able to reach our two cruelty agents. We thought we made them more visible. We thought buying all those treats for the doggies at Tractor Supply and buying lunch on at least two occasions was fair treatment.
The one thing we regret is that in a hand-written note from one of them, we mis-read “fluffy” as “filthy” in providing blankets for Blue, the dog that had to be euthanized because of the way he had been treated during its life.
For the record, we love them both.
For the record, they need more help.
For the record, the Bridgeton Police give them all the help they can.
For the record, Vineland animal control does it right.
“I’ve had a lot of pets in my life and they were all amazing.
“There’s always a handful that you have that extra special connection with, and Gypsy is definitely one of them.
“If she wasn’t so young, I might just accept the inevitable, but I cannot accept my dog not being around anytime soon. She’s more human than dog in my opinion.”
— Gypsy’s owner
Gypsy is a 3-year-old pit bull with a lump on her leg.
Delaware Valley Veterinary Hospital in Mullica Hill is doing the biopsy on Tuesday.
It will cost $900.
Gypsy has a GoFundMe site that is at gofundme.com/wnfkdrk-gypsys-surgery.
It has already reached $315, and we’ve got two days to go.
I would really like to know what the hospital would say on Tuesday if the owner said she has only $315.
But she will have the $900, even if we have to knock on 90 doors asking for $10. It’s called winning at a time when there is so much devisivness.
You would let this baby die?
“Millville Police are awesome!
“I went around to hand out bagged lunches to our citizens that needed them today, but since it was rainy out. I only handed out about 15.
“I went over to Millville Police station and they gladly took a boxful of the bagged lunches to hand out tonight to anyone that needs one when they make their rounds. Thank you so much to our men in blue!
— Cindi Stanger Cooke
“P.S.: One of our guests has now found a place in a shelter and is no longer on the streets. I saw her yesterday and she ran up and gave me hug and was beaming when she gave me the news!!! She said to make sure I told everyone at Code Blue thank you for all they have done for her!”
“Bridgeton is not what it use to be as we talked about before. There is still hope for Bridgeton, but big changes have to be made within the city and the state.”
— Bill Messick
“Tomorrow, the first wave of concert announcements for the 2017 Ocean City Boardwalk Concert Series.”
— Bob Rose
“Carolscatz will be expanding to include dogs . Info coming soon.
“Watch our Facebook page for updates and info.
“There are so many unwanted pups out there and small dogs being given up, maybe I can help just a little. I will need fosters. Taking names and addresses and numbers via messenger.
“If you can help or donate or foster, I need you . Supplies also needed as I go into this new venture.”
— Carol Hickman
Our fundraiser with Carol at Texas Roadhouse was a total debacle.
What we thought could be a monthly venture turned into never again.
“Went to Walmart to pick up something.
“On my way home, I went down Water Street and hit a pot hole — the same one they apparently just patched. Guess someone screwed up!
“Blew out my brand new tire! Called the PD they said they had let the road department know it was there, so where is the damn cone to tell you?
“It was filled with water and you can’t tell it’s there. And, of course, to top things off, I get yelled at because I took Water Street home. Guess you can tell I am mad!”
— motorist in Bridgeton
Moral of the story: Buy a better tire.
It might have just bent the rim, causing the tire to go flat.
:”Egg salad for the Agape Cafe lunch.”
— Jane Uhland
YOU CAN BOOK IT: Don’t forget Gypsy!