The column that asks, is the only reason men watch pro football is to make money with fantasy points while the women only watch the rear ends of the quarterbacks, and how about Mike Trout getting a game ball from Carson Wentz after the two went hunting together, making Cumberland County the most famous hunting woods in the sports world.
By Jack Hummel
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Wishes for the New Year:
Keep Deanna Speranza-Murphy in the loop to everything that is going from Deerfield School to the future of education in Cumberland County.
Get Texas Roadhouse waitress Katelyn Whitesall on the TV show “Baggage,” even though she’s never seen it because it comes on at 2 a.m.
Strengthen Bridgeton City code enforcement — screw the chances of lawsuits by absentee landlords who believe as long as they pay their taxes, the place can look so old,and tired, travelers believe they are driving through a town that has given up.
Expand the Greater Bridgeton Amish Market with outlets straight out of Lancaster, Pa., on the other end of the big, red barn.
Give planner Cindy Williams the key to the Bridgeton City Park makeover under the terms she desires and stop thinking you know what you’re doing, because you don’t, and, besides, she will call on all the resources she has met and worked with over the years to make it happen.
Plunder all possible resources to make the Bridgeton and Millville Police Athletic Leagues the strongest budgeted programs for kids in both cities, way more important than DARE and drug education and “Just say no” programs that haven’t worked in years.
Bring Willie Sanchez out of retirement.
Get Verna Herman on “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” and then suggest host Guy Fieri go over and join Mike Trout for lunch at Jim’s Lunch and look at the football Carson Wentz gave him today.
Give Sal DiLisi his own DiLisi’s Ristorante billboard — any billboard.
Closed TV circuit to enable Jim Williams to announce a CCC game — any game — from a bed — any bed — hospital or home or courtside.
Breakthrough for virtual pizza that makes you believe you are actually eating slices and getting all the enjoyment without any of unhealthy side effects.
NHL writing gig for Erik Cagle.
All newspaper names ending in the word “Opinion.”
Kellyanne Conway for president in 2020.
More deli’s like Quinton’s Bud’s Market all over the landscape.
A new back to go with Jonas King’s strong retail mind.
Charges filed that the Philadelphia media is the most responsible for the city’s bad sports teams, and hockey is the least criticized because Al Morganti is the only one who has played the game.
Neon signs for downtown Bridgeton to eliminate the depression and make the city fathers realize Latinos never heard of the word Victorian.
Somebody open up Adobe Joe’s on North Laurel Street adjacent to The Hacienda.
Order a Wendy’s food truck for the city park.
Get Ozkan Akilli to take over the downtown. The De Olde Towne Tavern owner has more business sense in his little finger than all the people who were born here.
Bring back the Markette Diner.
Open the Cindi Stanger Cooke Code Blue Rescue Mission & Spa.
Speaking gigs for Lernell Williams, Bruce Riley, Melissa Helmbrecht Kappeler to anybody who will listen.
Return of Bridgeton city lover Bob Thompson to prominence.
Birth of the Dorothy Abbott Cheesecake House.
Hall of Fame induction for Carl Hemple Sr.
1,000 hungry diners at DiLisi’s for the Jan. 18 Deanna Speranza-Murphy Deerfield School fundraiser.
Cat fight at Millville City Commission meeting.
Facebook not just for the lonely.
“Do you remember what year the city of Bridgeton did fireworks @ the Riverfront on New Year’s Eve? I think they also did a light laser show.”
— Nice memories of Bridgeton